living in His victory

reck·on verb \ˈre-kən\

a : count <reckon the days till Christmas>
b : estimatecompute <reckon the height of a building>
c : to determine by reference to a fixed basis <the existence of the United States is reckoned from the Declaration of Independence>
: to regard or think of as : consider

its a call to reckon,
to tally up the score.
oh withered soul, Christ has beckoned;
see, the curtain is no more.
He has conquered death
and crushed your fears;
the only thing binding you now
are the illusions and mirrors.

so come, oh heart! reckon, see the pow’r
that has bought your soul outright.
the wages of sin, once so sour,
he swallowed in that cup that night.
the truth is freedom, as it is told;
but can only free when to it you hold.

even when the taste of redemption seems to fade
and the darkness round you feels like chains,
hold! for your Beloved beloves you still.
He keeps you prized, though your heart falls ill.
His grip trumps any that threaten,
and withstands when ours lessen.
Faithful Savior, let me reckon this often, 
allowing your grace my fearful heart to soften.

i’m a novice poet, at best, and i don’t claim to actually know how poetry works, but i more just wanted to celebrate the joy that is made possible by truth. coming from a season of feeling far from it and wondering over a million things that could crush me, it has held true: He is so good. through the fire, He is good. through the confusion, He is good. even when my heart rebels after years of seeing and experiencing His glory, He doesn’t let go. He doesn’t fail.

and the more i am made aware of my inability, the more I am able to celebrate His perfect grace, which somehow makes me competent in the light of his ultimate competency.

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.” (1 Peter 5:10)

This is true, on two levels.

1) On a large scale, it encompasses all my days and weeks and months i am in right now. he restores me today, although it may take a while for my heart to accept. he establishes me on the Rock of his truth anew, in every season; he is able, by his grace, to bring me to rejoicing before, in, and after every valley.

2) One day, after all the “little whiles” of suffering across my lifetime blend into one “little while” of however many years I get on earth, i will be restored in the purest and more complete sense of the word. fully restored, without blemish in every way, without any sin marring the reflection of his glory through me.

he is good, always

he is loving, always

and he wants me, always.

i just need to reckon that, and to know that the truth that i know to be true is true, above all else.

you won’t regret watching this. i know i don’t –>

^^ “The greatest challenge is not your devotion, your discipline, your focus. Your biggest challenge is believing the gospel.”

I fear failing. but i have earned something – i deserve something – much worse than failing at life. i deserve no life. and now I get it – and not just a little of it, not merely a taste in order to keep me going at a crawl, but the most vibrant, untouchable, free and joyful life imaginable.

His victory needs to touch my life. the reckoning needs to be real in my life. i need to COUNT his victory and CONSIDER his love for me and COMPUTE what power i now live in, with Christ in me, the hope of glory. I need to DETERMINE BY REFERENCE TO THE FIXED BASIS of his unchanging love for me and the unchanging decision he made to save me whilst a sinner what my life is then about and means.

the existence of my life is determined by his grace. the quality of my life is determined by that same grace, and the measure to which i swim in it.


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