Life as a post-grad has been hilarious so far. Straight-up ridiculously hilarious. I say hilarious, because I nearly (and sometimes actually) laugh at how much I have been blessed these last months, in good things and in hard things. I have felt abundantly loved by Jesus both in fun times and in how He responds to my broken heart. I have been able to go on amazing trips and see wonderful things and be with amazing and beautiful people. It’s been so fun. I have also felt deeply and cried deeply and had to fight and choose to place myself at the cross again and again. Jesus is right there in my joy and right there in my pain, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, not for all the world.
Something that is also hilarious to me, although a tad intense at times, is how I could do anything. Anything. I could go to Chicago and waitress my way through, run off to Utah and work at a ski resort, take off with the Peace Corps in April, maybe try full time ministry, go to grad school in January, perhaps find a job somewhere crazy or perhaps find a job somewhere normal.
Those are all options I could go try right now. So really… I’m not kidding. Anything could happen.
It’s so different than leaving high school. Because if college is the next step, sure, you have to pick where and what to major in, but there is a narrow field of options. The task at hand is: pick a college. But after college… there opens up this vast plain of possibilities, and it’s funny because of Jesus.
It’s funny because I know that whatever comes to pass, the Lord is ahead of me and is with me. Wherever he leads me will be such an adventure in the best way – for I will never truly cease to be secure, even in moments I feel most insecure, and I will never be truly alone or left to fend for myself, even when I feel like it is up to me to try to control and make everything perfect. Without him, the options would paralyze me.
In Him, I can take on anything. I know that at the end of the day, I am His and nothing can destroy me.
“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” (Ps 118:6).
Anything can happen, and I am held perfectly in his hands. Anything could be around the next corner of life, and it will be an adventure, even if it is a hard one.
The next “anything” for my life has materialized into a “something”. I’m moving to Columbia, South Carolina in 10 short days, and I’ll be working as a dietitian in a neonatal intensive care unit.
I don’t know anyone there. I don’t even know where I’ll live yet. I don’t know what I’ll be involved in or what my free time will look like… or how it will feel to leave Ohio and the people I love so dearly here. But I do know that my Jesus is with me, and that this will be nothing short of an adventure with Him. If I go and it is awesome, praise to him! I will be glad and stand in awe of how he arranges my steps in wonderful and unexpected ways. If I go and fall flat on my face, I know He will pick me up and I will have the joy of knowing him in a crazy new raw way through that experience, and be certain that it was no mistake.
[[ He does not make mistakes. ]]
See?! I cannot lose! Already, I have seen how good He is in calming all my fears about leaving my dear housemate, my incredible team, my beautiful friends, and the girls at New Albany that have such big parts of my heart. It will not be easy, and I know I will most likely bawl like a child at times during this goodbye/see-you-later process, but I trust Him in this. Being interviewed for this job at all doesn’t make sense; much less being offered it. Moving to a place I don’t have any connection to, a place that right now doesn’t seem like “me” (can I get some snow and wear jeans and a jersey to football games, please?)…doesn’t make tons of sense. Leaving before I get to see this New Albany class of 2014 graduate doesn’t align with what I was hoping for, either.
But what an adventure! I have no idea what’s ahead, but I know He is leading me there and I know that He has never failed me and never will.
So, it’s hilarious: because I can look at a mass of unknowns and laugh, because Jesus is taking me into the cloud and because I know that whatever I find will be sopping with Jesus, Jesus, and more Jesus. And I want to dive headfirst into that.
His strength is greater than anything the question marks and uncertainties could threaten me with, and I am elated to experience that strength even as I am weak, even as I know I will face some tough goodbyes and losing the easy proximity of people I love here in Ohio.
Because of that, while my heart breaks knowing that tomorrow will be my last leadership as a leader in Columbus, and next Wednesday will be my last campaigners at New Albany, and that I may not see certain faces except over Skype and Facetime for longer than I’d like, I am bursting at the seams to celebrate. I am so grateful that in knowing Jesus, nothing is ordinary. No interaction on the street, no cup of coffee with a friend, no job or class or direction is an accident or without an intensely particular purpose. Everything we do is covered in intentionality – anything that my day holds is a moment that Jesus is over and in and through, and he is filling each moment with opportunities to see Him and glorify Him, and there is the greatest adventure.
I hope you know him! I hope you get to experience the PEACE and the JOY and the HILARITY that comes with letting Jesus be everything! He has supremacy over anything we face, and his care and concern for the details of our lives is unbelievably freeing. He cares so deeply for you, and is deeply interested in the decisions you make and the concerns you carry. Without Him, we are vulnerable and laden with sin far too heavy and blinding to ignore. I hope you have Him. I hope you cling to Him. He’s the best.
My future town ^^
“It is God to whom and with whom we travel, and while He is the end of our journey, He is also at every stopping place.” – Elisabeth Elliot